CowPi Journal

The song “Laughing With” is haunting me in a good way. When I searched for the lyrics yesterday, one of the first sites that came up was one of those song meaning sites. I read through some of the comments. Some were debating if the song was really about God or if it was a […]

A song by Regina Spektor (listen): No one laughs at God in a hospital No one laughs at God in a war No one’s laughing at God when      they’re starving or freezing or so very poor No one laughs at God      when the doctor calls after some routine tests No one’s […]

Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror up to where you’re bravely working. Expecting the worst, you look, you look, and instead, here’s the joyful face you’ve been wanting to see. Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be […]

God is everywhere. That’s easy to say, but do we really believe it? Are we willing to admit that God is present even in what looks nothing like holiness or love, i.e. in our sin—before, during, and after? Here’s a powerful poem from Presence: An International Journal of Spiritual Direction, September, 2008. After the storm, […]

It feels like I’m in Advent, waiting. (I never seem to be in sync with the current liturgical season.) I feel like an old dog trying to find a comfortable spot to lay down—he circles and circles around the same spot, but no angle quite looks comfortable enough to settle on. I am uncomfortable in […]

I heard this song by Blues Traveler on a retreat I was directing for students. The second stanza caught my attention for a friendship that is drifting apart. But the more I listen to the whole song, it sounds more like Jesus singing to me, reminding me of some of my past and that we […]

Some quotations from Crisis of Faith, Crisis of Love by Thomas Keating that have been lanterns of hope along the path through the valley… The absence of the felt presence of The Lord is his normal means of increasing our faith and of getting us to the point of believing in the power of his […]

Found myself with a rare free moment during the day. After a quick check on the internet for something, I found this little signpost for encouragement. It is a strange signpost, but one none the less. And the trick to remember with signposts is to follow where they point, not to collect them or stand […]

I feel like a fraud, a fake. I want to pray, but I don’t want to. My words are so shallow, empty, nothing. I am shallow, empty, nothing. My thoughts are divergent,      flittering between this and that,      between nothing and no-thing. My emotions are worn out—      the same spinning […]

I ventured out of my blog hermitage yesterday afternoon to find much discussion on the spiritual suffering of the Blessed Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa). It reminded me of something I had written awhile ago. The words are mine but I do not claim credit. The inspiration, and the meaning between the words, comes from […]

My deepest desire and most longing want is to see the face of Jesus Christ. Based on one of the Beatitudes, my daily prayer is for God to purify my heart so that I may see Him, see Him in others, and for others to see Him in me. I often think or imagine or […]

As one has to learn to read or to practice a trade, so one must learn to feel in all things, first and almost solely, the obedience of the universe to God. It is really an apprenticeship. Like every apprenticeship, it requires time and effort. He who has reached the end of his training realizes […]

Affliction is a marvel of divine technique. It is a simple and ingenious device which introduces into the soul of a finite creature the immensity of force, blind, brutal, and cold. The infinite distance separating God from the creature is entirely concentrated into one point to pierce the soul in its center. The man to […]

To paraphrase Peter John Cameron, O.P. in “Lent and Reality”: Salvation is an escape from our own inability. In our darkness, the incomparable capacity of our being will settle for nothing less than the embrace of the Infinite. Like nothing else, our helplessness moves us to cry out for that embrace in confidence and trust. […]

Something today reminded me of an analogy I had once read by Simone Weil. Joy and sorrow are like two sentences painted on a wall in different colors. Most people do not know how to read the language it is written in, and so only notice the difference in colors. Those who can read it, […]

I have been struggling with purpose lately, my purpose. What specifically is my purpose in life? What is my part in the big picture of God’s plan? I know and trust that God has a purpose for all things, including me (see Psalm 139). Either life has meaning or it does not; either everything has […]

I am currently reading the book Reaching Out by Henri J. M. Nouwen. In this book, Nouwen describes three type of movements or spectrums. Nouwen views our spiritual “ascent” as evolving in three movements. The first movement, loneliness to solitude, focuses on the spiritual life as it relates to the experience of our own selves. […]

Sooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who pause to consider the antithesis: that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable. The obstacles preventing the realization of both these extreme states are of the same nature: they derive from our human condition which is opposed to everything infinite. — Primo Levi

Experience is like a knife. It can either hurt you or benefit you depending on whether you grab it by the handle or the blade. — Author unknown