As if Oklahomans need any more encouragement… Source: xkcd
As if Oklahomans need any more encouragement… Source: xkcd
It’s tempting, but I do not think this would make a good high school math classroom poster:
Applies to prayer too! (Posted with permission. Savage Chickens has been become one of my few regular routines on the internet. Refreshing observations on life that remind us not to take everything so seriously.)
A bird was flying south for the winter. Cold and hungry, the bird found refuge in a barn on a farm. His wings were nearly frozen stiff with icicles. The bird thought to himself, “I am dead for sure.” A cow in the barn came by, sniffed around and unloaded a big, stinky cow pie […]
One day, Jesus said to his disciples, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like y = 3x2 + 8x – 9.” A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter, “What on earth does he mean by that?” Peter smiled. “Don’t worry. It’s just another one of his parabolas.”
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears: bump… Bump… BUMP… Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. bump… […]
A man hiking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and his flock of sheep. The man tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in your flock.” The shepherd thinks it over. It is a large flock so […]
“Holy crap!” I hear this expression occasionally from my students. I wonder, is this to be found only in Jesus’ latrine?
Bob was contracted to paint the old church. To increase his profit a little, he thinned the paint. Just as Bob was finishing up the job and loading up his truck, dark storm clouds quickly appeared. It rained hard for a few minutes, and the fresh coat of paint started to run down the sides […]
Did you hear about the Pope? A recent Zenit report has announced the Pope may have contracted the Bird Flu. His doctors report that he is a little weak but his spirits are good. Prayers are needed for his swift and complete recovery. Health officials believe he may have caught it from a cardinal.
Today in calculus class, we were finding the area between two curves. More specifically, as I pointed toward the graph on the board, I said, “Let’s find the area between functions f and g.” It sounded like, “f-n-g.” Or maybe that should be spelled like eff-in-gee. The whole class started smiling and giggling. Once I […]
Received this little story in an email. Being a math teacher in a Catholic high school, I naturally liked it. Little Zachary was doing very poorly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last […]
Imagine yourself in a high school honors algebra two class. The intellectual who’s who of your grade is in this class. Imagine further, the teacher, who in an effort to help his students around one particularly tricky question, gives a hint to an answer on the test. He says, “For problem number twenty two, I […]
There were these two nuns. One was known as Sister Mathematica and the other as Sister Logica. It was getting dark, and they were still far off from the convent. Sister Mathematica: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. […]
Have you tried the new guacamole flavored Doritos yet? They are pretty good, although how much they taste like real guacamole is debatable. But be fore-warned: they go in green, and come out green!
Ever heard of the phrase “you’re one in a million” used as a compliment? With over 6 billion people currently alive in the world today, that means there are 6,000 people just like you! (The population of the state of Oklahoma is about 4.5 million. Ironically, there are four people in the state with the […]
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphing calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al’Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Once on a trigonometry test, I accidently transposed the letters “c” and “x” in sec x (read as “secant x”) as sex c. (And the spell checker missed it too!)
Can you see the word “sex” in this integral?
Calculus and alcohol—don’t drink and derive. (old calculus joke)
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my client that I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I […]
If you drop a jelly-covered donut, it always lands jelly-side down. If you drop a cat, it always lands on its feet. What would happen if you put jelly on a cat? (Thanks Kelsey)