I feel like a fraud, a fake.
I want to pray, but I don’t want to.
My words are so shallow, empty, nothing.
I am shallow, empty, nothing.
My thoughts are divergent,
flittering between this and that,
between nothing and no-thing.
My emotions are worn out—
the same spinning of wheels in dry dust.
To label this dryness, this emptiness, this blah,
only semi-satisfies my mind.
The mind likes labels, categories, and judgments.
The label does nothing to help my heart.
There is only You.
Yet I cannot sense You, know You, feel You.
I feel presence-less,
even though I know You are present.
All that I depend on internally tells me nothing.
My mind, my heart, they are useless.
There is only You.
You are in my desolation,
but I do not recognize You.
Help me to see You in all things.