No Sense of Closure

Yesterday was the last day of classes for seniors at the high school where I teach. I always have mixed emotions about the last day of school. (I have another last day of school to go through with the underclassmen.) The last day is further complicated since most of my seniors are exempt from their final exam. Those two or three students who have to take the exam will come back on Monday or Tuesday.
I always have this urge to stand up in front of my departing students and say something profound, to tell them how much I appreciated them, and to wish them a happy and successful life. But this never happens. The bell usually rings before I can manage my emotions and muster up the courage. Or, a couple of students are wrapping up their last math test, and I don’t want to interrupt them. Or, I am busy grading their last test, and time slips by until the bell rings, then it’s too late. Or, on a rare occasion we do not have anything to do on the last day because we took the last test a day early, the students sit there and talk among themselves. Some classes include me in their conversations, some don’t. It all depends on the mix of personalities. And again, time slips by until the bell rings.
I remember when I was a student. There was always a sense of closure when I walked out of a classroom for the last time, no matter how much I enjoyed the class. There was a sense of release—no more homework, no more tests, no more commitment of my time and energy. One stage of my life was finished, and I was excited for the upcoming brief time of freedom, and for the possibilities of the future.
As a teacher on the last day of school, there is no sense of closure. The students just get up and walk out of the classroom door like they have always done. They walk out of your life as quickly as they walked into it on the first day of school. I do get a sense of relief on the last day that I am not responsible for them any more. The pressure to be always ready is off (for a little while at least). But final grades still need to be calculated, and the classroom needs to be packed up for summer.
I have always had a few students who shook my hand or gave me a hug as they left on the last day. I really appreciate this gesture of affection. And this does provide a little sense of closure. Most students do not know realize how much of an impact they have on their teachers.
So, for a little sense of closure, I pray that all of my students live long, happy, prosperous lives under the light and love of Christ. May all of their dreams and aspirations come true. May they find love and friendship. And in the end, may they learn to listen to God in their lives.

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