CowPi Journal

Near the end of the film Into Great Silence (technically it is a film, but it is something more), there is an interview with an old, blind monk. The years of solitude do not wear heavy on him. He is truly happy, and peace envelopes him, coming to you even through the camera lens. His voice is calm and soothing, and joy rings within his words even though I do not understand his French. Below is most of his extended monologue as presented in the accompanying special features DVD with the film. There are long pauses between portions of his talk as if to recognize the presence of God in and among his words.

No, why be afraid of death?

For those who’ve loved God like a father, you see, death isn’t to be feared. On the contrary, it’s a big reunion, since God, you see, loves us infinitely. He created us through pure love, and when one of us responds to this love, well, it’s big re-finding up there.

In other words, one finds Him once more as a father who loves us infinitely and is very merry.

Well, one has sins, but all sins are effaced as soon as one loves God like a father. And in practice, the nearer one comes to God, you see, the happier one is.

And in practice, that’s the goal of our life, that is. The nearer one gets to God, the happier one is, the faster one goes toward Him, you see.

One comes to terms with God. And in practice, one shouldn’t be afraid of God. On the contrary, it’s a great joy for us, finding a father once more.

The past and present, they’re human terms. In God there’s no past, there’s solely the present. And… when He sees us, He sees each of our lives straight off. That’s why, as He is an infinitely good being, He always has an eye for our well being. And whatever happens to us… well, there’s no reason for disquiet.

— — — — — — —

And I very often thank God for having rendered me blind. I’m certain that it’s for the good of my soul that He has permitted it.

— — — — — — —

At present, folk in the world are afraid of death and they are afraid of old age too, of many things like that. But it’s life.

When one loves God, one has no reason for disquiet. And in practice, our life in Chartreuse, and for Christians in general, you see, and… Well, the thing is to love God with all one’s heart, with all one’s soul, with all one’s forces, and one’s neighbour as oneself.

If one applies that, you know, there are many questions which are insoluble now in the world will immediately be solved. If truly one loved one’s neighbour as oneself, all the injustices in the world today would disappear.

— — — — — — —

To me, life is very simple. We have a creator, God, who is infinitely good, infinitely powerful, who demands simply that we love Him, that we just notice what He does for us… And if one loves Him, well, everything goes well for us.

That’s why one should always be happy, a Christian should never be sad, since whatever happens to one is will by God, or, at least, is permitted by God and for the good of one’s soul. And after all, it’s essential for us, isn’t it? God who is infinitely good, all-powerful, and who helps us.

Well, one has only to do that, then one is happy.

A portion of a song:

Nobody tells you when you get born here
How much you’ll come to love it
And how you’ll never belong here
So I call you my country
And I’ll be lonely for my home
And I wish that I could take you there with me

— Rich Mullins, “Land of My Sojourn”

I rediscovered this piece of dialogue from the movie Matrix between Neo and the Spoon Boy in the waiting room of the Oracle’s apartment:

Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Boy: There is no spoon.

Neo: There is no spoon?

Boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Kind of reminds me of prayer. The truth is that God is, but it is the pray-er who is changed.

I heard this song by Blues Traveler on a retreat I was directing for students. The second stanza caught my attention for a friendship that is drifting apart. But the more I listen to the whole song, it sounds more like Jesus singing to me, reminding me of some of my past and that we don’t need to go there again.

If ever you are feeling like you’re tired
And all your uphill struggles leave you headed downhill
If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you
And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill
I ask of you a very simple question
Did you think for one minute that you are alone?
And is your suffering a privilege you share only?
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home?

Just wait…just wait…just wait…it will come

If you think I’ve given up on you, you’re crazy
And if you think I don’t love you, well then you’re just wrong
In time you just might take to feeling better
Time is the beauty of the road being long
I know that now you feel no consolation
But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud
I say this without fear of hesitation
I can honestly tell you that you make me proud

Just wait…just wait…just wait…it will come
Just wait…just wait…just wait…and it will come

If anything I might’ve just said has helped you
If anything I might’ve said helped you just carry on
Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle
And your appetite for pain may all but be gone
I hope for you and cannot stop that hoping
Until that smile has once again returned to your face
There’s no such thing as a failure who keeps trying
Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace

Just wait…just wait…just wait…and it will come (x3)

— Blues Traveler