A Sense of…

Last November, my dad came to spend Thanksgiving with us. I remember this sense of security come over me when he entered the door to my house. I felt it deep inside, and it reminded me of that sense of security I must have felt as a kid. It was a relaxing feeling, like I could let go a bit. Dad was here. That sense of security is heart knowledge, something that you know without words in your heart. (As oppose to, or in conjunction with head knowledge, knowing something in your head, usually but not always with words.)
I have faith, deep faith I hope. At least it is presently deeper than I have ever known. But I wish it gave me that same sense of deep security that I have when my dad is around. And as I think about it, if my mother was alive, I know the feeling would be even deeper and more pronounced. I miss my dad. I miss my mom.
Last night, my daughter came home from college. It’s been two months since she left for her freshman year. It’s Fall break. She gets a whole week off. 🙂 It felt really good to see her again, just to have her around the house. I knew I missed her but not exactly how much until I hugged her.
I cannot say that I feel any sense of security with her being home. (Hopefully she does.) It is more a sense of completeness, wholeness. No, that is not exactly right. It is more a feeling of less emptiness, less aloneness. (That seems to be an odd statement to make in a household of four children.) I don’t want to say that I feel less broken. Maybe it is like a cool, soothing sauve on my wounded heart.
Thank you Lord for my family. Please, please keep them safe. Bless them with Your grace for the needs You know they have.

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