I know the following beautiful but frightening words written by Paula D’Arcy to be true in my head, but I am trying to learn them in my heart. I know that I have partially learned them, but my analytical side wants, but cannot give, a percentage. The percentage does not really matter anyway.
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I am certain everything is gift.
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I am certain we are entitled to nothing.
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I am certain the wells for pain and joy are not separate.
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I am certain bitterness and healing are a choice.
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I am certain that running from your darkness leads to greater darkness.
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I am certain the darkness is held ultimately by light.
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I am certain that the words from scripture “In Him we live and move and have our being” are not poetic; they are actual physical reality.
The only way to learn these truths seems to be experiential. That seems to be the only way to circumvent the false dualism of the mind and body, to have it all contained together within the heart. And the only way to have that experience is through pain, foundation-shaking pain down to its core. In effect, it is to have your heart broken, to crack its hardness and egocentric ways, and let God’s grace enter.
Genuine grace is scary because it means change.