Muddy Feet

Whoever flees prayer, flees all that is good!

— St. John of the Cross

I know this deep in my heart, but sometimes, it can be so hard. Why? Prayer should be the easiest, most natural thing in the world, to be drawn toward God. That is the direction I want to go, that is where my heart yearns, aches. But sometimes, I cannot find the words, cannot find the feelings, cannot simply turn my heart to God. My heart feels like feet firmly planted in mud. I do not flee. I just stand there, indifferent. I tug slightly, just enough to make a motion, but no real movement happens. Something inside me resists. I want to blame the mud incasing my feet, incasing my heart. But I know it is not the mud. It is me. Why do I resist? Why do I rebel?

Please Lord, help me to humble myself before you and others, to let go of my resistance to all that is good, to pull my feet, my heart, from the mud and walk with you.

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