Still Water

In a piece called “Silence in Prayer: The Meaning of Hesychia”, Kallistos Ware, an Orthodox bishop, describes a story from the Sayings of the Desert Fathers about three friends who became monks:

As his ascetic labor the first adopts the task of peace-maker, seeking to reconcile those who go against the law against one another. The second cares for the sick, and the third goes into the desert to become a solitary. After a time the first two grow weary and discouraged. However hard they struggle they are physically and spiritually incapable of meeting all the demands placed on upon them. Close to despair, they go to the third monk, the hermit, and tell him about their troubles. At first he is silent. After a while he pours water into a bowl and says to the others, “Look.” The water is murky and turbulent. They wait for some minutes. The hermit says, “look again.” The sediment has now sunk to the bottom and the water is entirely clear; they see their own faces as in a mirror. “That is what happens,” says the hermit, “to someone who lives among men: because of the turbulence he does not see his own sins. But when he has learnt to be still,… he recognizes his own faults.”

We are not told what the first two monks did afterwards. If they returned to their original vocations, they may have interpreted the words of the third monk as “… social action by itself is not enough. Unless there is a still center in the middle of the storm, unless a man in the midst of all his activism preserves a secret room in his heart where he stands alone before God, then he will lose all sense of spiritual direction and be torn to pieces.”

Why is Jesus Life-Giving?

Kevin, one my students, asked me a single interview-type question for his religion class. He asked, “Why is your relationship with Jesus life-giving for you?”
My reply: Jesus is love, peace, and energy. Love—I know that I’m am loved by Him (and by others); thus, I am able to love others. Through Him, I can carry out His two commandments, love God and love my neighbor. Peace—I find a sense of inner peace in Him; and hopefully, I can infect that peace into people around me. It is in the silence of peace that I deeply feel His presence. Energy—God is the energy of the Universe. He gives me the energy to get up in the morning and face the day’s challenges, the energy to help others, and the energy to be a reflection for His light and love. He is the bread of life.

Through Him, With Him, In Him

I have been trying to write this journal entry for over a week now. I have started and stopped several times, and eventually erased all of them because I never liked where they were heading. The topic is about prayer, and none of the words I can find seem to describe what I am going through adequately.

I have reached a point in my prayer life where I want more; or rather, something more is required of me. I am not sure exactly what, but I think I am looking for a more meaningful, deeper, spiritual connection with God.

I pray often during the course of a day. (Usually a long, personal prayer in the morning and another in the evening, plus a bunch of little, one-liners during the day.) I try my best to touch upon each of the four types of prayers: supplication, thanksgiving, contrition, adoration. I like the way the Mystic Cowboy described how a minister once called the four types of prayer as: Gimme, Thanks, Oops, and Wow! Different times of the day and different situations tend to call on certain types of prayers.

There are other types of prayer that are best described by there purpose: public or communial prayer, private prayer, prayer for meditation, and praying the scripture.

Kallistos Ware, an Orthodox bishop, describes three other types of prayer based on how “interpenetrating” they are: prayer of the lips (oral prayer); prayer of the nous, of the mind or the intellect (prayer of the mind); and prayer of the heart (or the intellect in the heart). Each of these types of prayer are best described as levels or stages of how deep the prayer reaches in or penetrates.

It is this prayer of the heart that I think I am searching for. It has something to do with the Jesus’ Prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. I am reading up on it, praying on it, and will post more later.

C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity, probably gives one of the best descriptions of what really happens when one prays:

An ordinary simple Christian kneels down to say his prayers. He is trying to get into touch with God. But if he is a Christian he knows that what is prompting him to pray is also God: God, so to speak, inside him. But he also knows that all his real knowledge of God comes from Christ, the Man who was God—that Christ is standing beside him, helping him to pray, praying for him. You see what is happening. God is the thing to which he is praying—the goal he is trying to reach. God is also the thing inside him which is pushing him on—the motive power. God is also the road or bridge along which he is being pushed to that goal. So that the whole threefold life of the three-person Being is actually going on in that ordinary little bedroom where an ordinary man is saying his prayers. The man is being caught up into the higher kinds of life—what I call… spiritual life: he is being pulled into God, by God, while still remaining himself.

Wow! Now I fully understand the part of the prayer made during the Eucharist celebration, “Through Him, With Him, In Him.”

Success happens…

Success happens when preparation meets opportunity.

— Author unknown

Put Out into the Deep

Last summer, I ran into a major frustration in my journey of faith. I had just found my faith the previous February, and everything about the Church was new to me. I was not sure what I was suppose to be doing as a “new” Christian, but I knew that I wanted God in the center of my life.

I do not remember the details of each sermon, but the overall message for several weeks in a row was that one must convert to Christ, turn from your old ways, repent, become a disciple of Christ. I kept waiting for the instructions on how to do this, but they never came. I became very frustrated. Inside, I knew that I could not ask for an instruction manual. I would have to find my own way. (A remnant of my old, self-reliant way.)

Some of you can probably guess at what I did next. I prayed and mediated for an answer to my dilemma. I opened up the Bible and began reading. I did not have to read very far until I came across Jesus’ two commandments: love God first, and love your neighbor. That was the key!

Now to be honest, at first I was not sure how to love God. I knew that I needed to pray everyday. Prayer, after all, is just a conversation with our Friend. Beyond that, I was not sure how to love Him. As for loving your neighbor, I could do that! I was already doing much of it in the way I lived each day. Of course, I could always do a better job of it. As it turned out, the way I showed my love for others in itself was a way to show love for God. Each act of love for another person was an act of love for God.

Fast forward to this summer. Over the past year, I attended RCIA classes. Two friends and I started a small prayer group. I was baptized and officially joined the Church. I started to read the Bible everyday. I also read several other influential books. My heart has grown for God and neighbor. I wanted more. Something more was required of me.

About three weeks ago, I attended a half-day retreat for the staff of my high school. Many things were discussed, but the one thing that had the greatest affect of me was Fr. Boyer’s comment about disciples being fearless: “The fear of abandonment triggers all other fears.” In other words, God was not going to abandon me (or any of us). I knew this, but it took hearing this again in different words for it to really sink into my heart. Something clicked inside and I truly wanted to be a disciple of Jesus. I did not want to be a lukewarm Christian. I wanted to be closer to God more than I ever thought possible.

Claude Muncey, at One Pilgrim’s Walk, elegantly described this as the second choice. The first choice is to accept the call to follow Jesus, to listen to what He has to say. The second choice is to make a commitment to become a true disciple and accept everything that entails.

The challenge of the second choice is the call “duc et altum” (the Holy Father’s favorite saying these days, it seems)—put out into the deep. If you have ever stepped into a small boat from a pier you know that the most dangerous moment is when you are both in the boat and on the shore—when you have one foot in the boat and one on the pier. You really need to decide to get on the boat, or stay ashore. That is what Jesus is asking each one of us—to abandon simply admiring Him from afar and make up our minds to get on the boat and set off on a voyage with Him. We don’t yet know where the boat is going, but we do know the Captain by now, and we know that He really does have power over the storms and waves of our lives.

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