“Heaven” by Live

My sixteen-year old daughter is a junior at the high school where I teach. It has been a cool experience to have her there. The other day, the school’s chaplain, Fr. Scott, told me that when he hears the song “Heaven” by Live, he thinks of my daughter and me. Talk about a lump in the throat…

You don’t need no friends
Get back your faith again
You have the power to believe
Another dissident
Take back your evidence
It has no power to deceive

I’ll believe it when I see it, for myself

I don’t need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe
I don’t need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive

Master of the Three Virtues

A journal entry of mine about depression inspired Mea at ignispati to write about hope. Yesterday, I stumbled upon this poem about hope from an old French poet while looking for something else. How apropos…

I AM, God says, Master of the Three Virtues.

Faith is a loyal wife.
Charity is a fervent mother.
But hope is a very little girl.

I am, God says, the Master of the Virtues.

It is Faith who holds fast through century upon century.
It is Charity who gives herself through centuries of centuries,
But it is my little hope
Who gets up every morning.

I am, God says, the Lord of the Virtues.

It is Faith who resists through century upon century.
It is Charity who yields through century upon century.
But it is my little hope
Who every morning
Says good-day to us.

I am, God says, the Lord of the Virtues.

Faith is a soldier, a captain who defends a fortress.
A town belonging to the King,
On the marches of Gascony, on the marches of Lorraine.
Charity is a doctor, a Little Sister of the poor,
Who nurses the sick, who nurses the wounded,
The poor subjects of the King,
On the marches of Gascony, on the marches of Lorraine.
But it is my little hope
Who says good-day to the poor man and the orphan.

I am, God says, the Lord of the Virtues.

Faith is a church, a cathedral rooted in the soil of France.
Charity is a hospital, an alms-house which gathers up all the
wretchedness of the world.
But without hope it would be nothing but a cemetery.

I am, God says, the Lord of the Virtues.

It is Faith who watches through centuries of centuries.
It Is Charity who watches through centuries of centuries.
But it is my little hope
who lies down every evening
and gets up every morning
and really has very good nights.

I am, God says, the Lord of that virtue.
It is my little hope
who goes to sleep every evening,
In her child’s bed,
after having said a good prayer,
and who wakes every morning and gets up
and says her prayers with new attention.

I am, God says, Lord of the Three Virtues.

Faith is a great tree, an oak rooted in the heart of France,
And under the wings of that tree, Charity, my daughter Charity shelters all the distress of the world.
And my little hope is only that little promise of a bud which shows itself at the very beginning of April.

And when one sees the tree, when you look at the oak,
That rough oak bark, thirteen and fourteen times and eighteen times a centenarian,
And which will be a centenarian and venerable throughout ages upon ages,
That hard, wrinkled bark and those branches which are like a jungle of enormous arms,
    (A jungle which is an order),
And those roots which plunge down and seize the earth like a jungle of enormous legs,
    (A jungle which is an order),
When you see so much strength and so much roughness the little tender bud looks like nothing at all.
Then it seems like a parasite on the tree, to eat at the tree’s table.
Like mistletoe, like a fungus.
Then it seems to feed on the tree (and the peasants call them gluttons), then it seems to lean on the tree, to issue from the tree, unable to be anything, unable to exist without the tree. And in fact, today it comes out of the tree, at the axil of the branches, at the axil of the leaves and it cannot exist at all without the tree. It seems to come from the tree, to steal the nourishment of the tree.
And yet, from it everything comes. Without a bud which had once come forth, the tree would not exist. Without these thousands of buds which come forth only once, at the very beginning of April and perhaps in the last days of March nothing would last, the tree would not last, would not hold its place as a tree (and that place must be held), without that sap which rises and oozes in the month of May, without those thousands of buds which pierce tenderly at the axil of the bard branches.
Every place must be held. Every life springs from tenderness.

— Charles Péguy, from the beginning of “The Mystery of the Holy Innocents”

The more you try to avoid suffering…

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.

— Thomas Merton

Grace Known by Faith

I randomly opened up the Catechism of the Catholic Church this morning. It opened to an old bookmarked page on God’s grace. I found this paragraph comforting in light of my current mood.

2005 Since it belongs to the supernatural order, grace escapes our experience and cannot be known except by faith. We cannot therefore rely on our feelings or our works to conclude that we are justified and saved. However, according to the Lord’s words “Thus you will know them by their fruits”—reflection on God’s blessings in our life and in the lives of the saints offers us a guarantee that grace is at work in us and spurs us on to an ever greater faith and an attitude of trustful poverty.

A pleasing illustration of this attitude is found in the reply of St. Joan of Arc to a question posed as a trap by her ecclesiastical judges: “Asked if she knew that she was in God’s grace, she replied: ‘If I am not, may it please God to put me in it; if I am, may it please God to keep me there.’”

I hate February

I almost always seem to have a case of mild depression this time of year. I had a MAJOR one three years ago. I do not want to go through that again. I don’t know if it is the fewer number of sunny days because of winter, or the third quarter lull of the school year, or a combination of other factors. I feel the weight of darkness looming at the edge of depression.

Lord, please help me stay in the light. Please give me your love, peace, and energy so that I can reflect it to those in more need than me. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us.