The Space Between

The first time I heard the song “The Space Between” by Dave Matthews Band, I only heard the refrain, and specifically only the words “space between”. I was not in a quiet place at the moment so the rest of the words were kind of muffled. The music had this haunting quality that drew me into the melody. I anxiously anticipated hearing the song again.

Before I heard the song again, I remember thinking what a great idea for a love song. The space between us when we are apart is too much. I long to be with you again. How not only space, the physical distance between us separates us, but time separates us too. How even the space between us when we are together is still too much. How I long to be even closer with you, even in our most intimate moments. Our minds, our hearts, our souls are not completely merged into one. Although we are close as possible, we can still be closer, there still exist a space between.

I thought of other metaphors the song could have played into, but when I finally did hear the whole song, I was disappointed. I had to look up the lyrics to confirm it. Yep! The line “The space between, our wicked lies…” just threw my thoughts about the song out the window. The song seems to be about somebody lamenting over his or her break up with a lover. That kind of space between was not what I was hoping the song was about.

Yet, I still cling to the idea of “the space between.” We all long for intimacy with another human heart. (Note, I am not necessarily talking about intimacy in sexual terms.) “The space between” makes us feel isolated, alone, separate, fragmented. We long for contact, connection, wholeness. And when we feel some level of contact or connection, we long for a more deeper, fuller connection. No matter how close we get to another human heart, there is still a longing for more. There always remains some space between.

All of this of course, like all the great love songs that do not talk about physical love, applies to God. We long to know, to serve, and to love God. As I re-read the lyrics to this song, I get this strange sense, that in a way, it applies to God and us. As if God is saying to us:

Love is all we need dear
The space between…is where you’ll find me hiding,
    waiting for you
The space between, your heart and mine
Is a space we’ll fill with time
The space between…

The sad irony is that all the saints, especially the ones known as mystics, say that God is already in our hearts. The space between exist not outside of ourselves, but within ourselves, within our own hearts.

Note to Self

Part of the refrain from a Tim McGraw song:

and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying

X’s and O’s

With your computer mouse, highlight the whole line below from the X to the O:

X Even though you can’t see Him, GOD is there! O

Unconditional Love

This post is a follow-up to “Conditions of Love” from two weeks ago. It is also partly a reply to one commenter’s suggestion that God’s love is preconditional.

Unconditional love is the choice
to love a person
who does not deserve it.

Unconditional = Freedom. No conditions, no pre-conditions, no post-conditions, no conditions whatsoever. Something freely offered. Not dependent on anything, especially the acceptance of receiver. As Peter Kreeft once wrote, “Every gift requires two freedoms: the giver’s and the receiver’s.”

Love = see 1 Corinthians 13

Person = A human being, made in the image of God, with the spark of the Divine within their soul. I do not use the word individual because this word implies separateness. The Greek word for individual was idiota, and we can see what English word derives from that! We are all connected. All people are part of a community of persons. Like it or not, other people help define who we are. You can only see your humanity reflected in the faces of others around you.

Choice = A matter of the will. Free will. Free choice. It is debatable on how many free will choices we actually make in our daily lives, but it is there none the less. In fact, it is a choice in itself to use it or not, to go with the flow or make a stand. Our will, along with the ability to know, is how we are created in the image of God. Without free will, love for God and love for others would be idolatry. It would be dead and stagnate, not life-giving.

Do not deserve it = None of us deserve God’s love. And if you are honest with yourself, you do not deserve the love of another person either. All love is pure gift, even when we slap conditions on it. Pick any person that you love and are loved by in return. If they could read all your selfish thoughts and feel all your ugly feelings about others, they probably would not love you either. But they do. You cannot hide all of those thoughts and feelings, good or bad, from someone who knows and loves you. They love you despite yourself. God loves you despite yourself too. That is why Jesus died on the Cross—to bridge the gap between God and us, to bridge the gap between each other.

And so, unconditional love is the choice to love a person who does not deserve it. God does it. We are called to do it too. Everyday, the actions you choose to make, or not make, reflect this.

In the evening of our life, we shall be judged by love, namely, by the sincerity of our love for God, for our neighbor, for our soul. — St. John of the Cross

There is a Way

In main entrance to my school, we do not have the Ten Commandments posted. We have the Beatitudes. A little ways into the main hallway, there is another big picture framed around these words:

We are with you.
There is a way through;
There is a way to stand;
There is a way to move;
There is a way to hope;
There is a way to believe.