In the Palm of His Hand

I had a dream last night that I met Jesus.
I had so longed to look into His eyes.
And finally, there I was, face to face with Him.

I looked deep into His eyes.
I smiled and I cried.
There was love.
There was mercy.
There was peace.
It was awesome.

Then I realized something,
something that I think I knew
deep down in my heart,
but never in my mind.
I had seen those eyes before.
I had seen those very same eyes
a thousand times over, everyday of my life.
I had seen His eyes in the eyes of my parents,
in the eyes of my wife, in my children,
in my friends, in my students,
and even in strangers
in the store and on the street.

I was never alone.
I was never not in His sight.
He always saw me with His eyes,
eyes of love, mercy, peace, and awe.

I reached for His hand.
I had so longed to hold His hand.
Finally, there I was, touching Him.
He was holding me, and I was holding Him,
hand in hand.

I held His hand firmly.
I cried and I smiled.
There was hope.
There was acceptance.
There was friendship.
It was awesome.

Then I realized something,
something that I think I knew
deep down in my soul,
but never in my mind.
I had held those hands before.
I had held those very same hands
a thousand times over, everyday of my life.
I had held His hands when I held
my parent’s hands when I was learning to walk,
my wife’s hands as we fell in love,
my children’s hands when I taught them to walk.
My friends’ hands and my students’ hands
were His hands when they held mine
in moments of sorrow,
in moments of joy,
in moments of hope.
A stranger’s hand was His hand
when extended in a moment of welcome.

I was never alone.
I was never not within His reach.
He always touched me with His hands,
hands of hope, acceptance, friendship, and awe.

I pulled His hand close and opened it.
I saw my name written in His palm.
He had never forgotten me,
never abandoned me.
How could He?
I was in the palm of His hand.
I saw the names of my parents,
the names of my wife and children.
I saw the names of all my friends and students.
I saw millions upon millions of names
all written in the palm of His hand,
each and every name loving written in fine detail.
He knew and loved each person
by name, by sight, by touch, by heart.

There I was, my name,
written in the palm of His hand,
inscribed within His glory,
within the wound from a nail.

Dance in the Rain

It is raining outside at the moment—a good, steady rain. My classroom windows are open and a cool breeze is gently blowing in with the steady and sure sound of the rain. The color of sky is a cool and comforting early morning overcast gray. It is quiet at the moment, a moment before the busyness of school starts. I understand the old saying, “right as rain.”

[raindrops]

God’s grace rains down on us every moment of our lives. Are we open enough to touch it, to feel, to let it wash over us and transform us so that we can be changed, changed to see the world, to see others, to see ourselves, to see God in a new way?

I want to dance in the rain.

A Fresh Cow Pi

CowPi 3.0
The old CowPi v3.0

CowPi v2.0
Older CowPi v2.0

CowPi v1.0
Original CowPi v1.0

The latest version of CowPi has reverted to a minimalist design employing plenty of white space. I miss the color a little, and the sunset image at the top a lot, but they don’t quite fit in with the new look. The sidebar has been striped down to the bare essentials. The width of the text area is wider. The Quote of the Day is set apart in a classier way than the previous version. Comments and trackbacks have been suspended for the time being. Not sure when or if ever they will come back.

The plan is to change the image in the sidebar every now and then, maybe once every two weeks or so. It will depend on my mood. We’ll see.

There are a few links in the footer at the bottom of the page. My daughter liked my “About” page, so I kept it. I plan on adding a few links in the sidebar to other parts of the CowPi website (based on the suggestion of one reader).

I upgraded to the latest version of Movable Type, that is, the weblogging software behind CowPi. There is still a problem with the category pages under the quotes section. Sorry for the insistency at the moment. Trying to generate those pages kicks out an error that I have been unable to find the source.

I’m sure there are a bunch of little things that need to be tweaked. Those will be worked out slowly.

An Economy of Grace

Just one path of grace:

Love brings peace.
Peace brings patience
and dispels fear;
which in turn reinforces hope,
deepens faith,
and creates a space
for forgiveness;
thus energizing love
to flow to others.

May God’s love, peace, and energy touch your heart.

Update: Added lines about forgiveness.

Psalm 139 — Reworded Slightly

Sister Benedicta from the Red Plains Monastery told me to change the pronouns around in Psalm 139 and insert my name as if God was speaking directly to me. Praying the psalm this way can have a profound effect on ones orientation to grace. I recommend that you pray it by placing your name in it.

O Mark, I have searched you and known you.
Mark, I know when you sit down and when you rise up;
      I discern your thoughts from far away.
I search out your path Mark, and your lying down,
      and am acquainted with all your ways.
Even before a word is on your tongue,
      Mark, I know it completely.
I hem you in, behind and before,
      and lay my hand upon you.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for you;
      it is so high that you cannot attain it.

Where can you go Mark from my spirit?
      Or where can you flee from my presence?
If you ascend to the sky, I am there;
      if you make your bed in darkness, I am there.
If you take wings of the morning
      and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there my hand shall lead you Mark,
      and my right hand of mercy shall hold you fast.
If you say, “Surly the darkness shall cover me,
      and the light around me become night,”
even the darkness is not dark to me Mark;
      the night is as bright as the day,
      for the darkness is as light to me.

For it was I who formed your inward parts;
      I knit you together Mark in your mother’s womb,
You praise me, for you are awesomely and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are my works;
      that you know very well.
Your form Mark was not hidden from me,
      when you were being made in secret,
      intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
My eyes beheld your unformed substance.
In my book were written
      all the days that were formed for you Mark,
      when none of them as yet existed.
How weighty to you are my thoughts, Mark!
      How vast is the sum of them!
You try to count them—they are more than the grains of sand;
      You come to the end—You are still with me Mark.

I ask for the gift of trust and confidence in Your love for me, Lord.